Walk Like A Pirate Day

In 1995, Mark "Cap'n Slappy" Summers and John "Ol' Chumbucket" Baur created Talk Like A Pirate Day, which is celebrated on September 19 each year. Now Cap'n Billy "The Butcher" MacDougall has declared the following day, Sept. 20, Walk Like a Pirate Day.

"At some point you have to stop talking the talk, and walk the walk," says Cap'n Billy, who's co-author of the new book, Guide to Pirate Parenting. "While Talk Like a Pirate Day is as much fun as firing at a merchant vessel, eventually you have to put yer legs where yer mouth is, so to speak."

Cap'n Billy says you can start Sept. 20 by pretending you have a peg leg or your toe was bitten by a bilge rat. You could even put a live codfish down your pants, if you want to walk like "Crazy Legs" Johnny Jibson, the Captain's first mate.

"But walking the pirate walk means acting like a pirate in every way," says Cap'n Billy. "It's more fun to be a pirate than just talk like one. That's why I wrote me book, Guide to Pirate Parenting: Why you should raise your kids as pirates and 101 tips on how to do it. (2007, Cold Tree Press).

Me book teaches parents how to raise their little powder monkeys as true buccaneers! It's also why I be declaring Sept. 20, 2007, the first-annual Walk Like a Pirate Day."

Here are a few of the Captain's suggested activities for Walk Like a Pirate Day:

1) Prepare a typical pirate meal for yer family!

Menu suggestions:

• Salt Cod and Rice (heavy on the salt cod)
• Rice and Salt Cod (light on the rice)
• Salt Cod Medley (salt cod combined with chunks of salt cod)
• Salt Cod and Salt Cod with Salt Cod in a Salt Cod sauce
• Rum

How to cook salt cod: Rinse the fish and cut it into pieces. Place the pieces in a dish of cold water and soak in the refrigerator for 24 hours. Change the water several times during the day. Prior to dinner, drain the fish and place it in the trashcan. Order pizza.

2) Get yer sea legs!

Waterbeds help new pirates get their sea legs long before they ever set sail on the ocean. They provide good practice for sleeping on board a ship and are also good for practicing other pirate tasks.

Jump up and down on one end of the bed while your child attempts to do his homework on the other end. This is similar to filling out the captain's logbook in heavy seas.

Also have your child try hand-to-hand combat, barrel rolling and pouring rum, while on the waterbed. Note: If your child has already had his hook installed, make sure a plastic hook guard is in place before doing any waterbed activities.

3) Attend a sporting event and cheer at every foul!

Focus on the most important parts of the sports you watch--the penalties or fouls! Create your own pirate penalties such as:

• Roughing the parrot (also know as a "fowl shot")
• Flogging the kicker
• Three-second violation (not moving away from the front of a cannon quickly enough)
• Personal fowl (stealing someone else's parrot)
• Face masking (tearing the eye patch off another player)
• Illegal use of peg leg
• Offensive mast interference
• Hooking

4) Practice pirate health and safety!

To treat a cut, rinse it off and apply pressure with a clean cloth. If after five minutes the bleeding continues, check carefully to see if an arm or leg has been severed or if there is a hole in your pirate's torso that is the size of a parrot.

Reattach the limb or plug the hole with any parrot-sized object. Wait two or three days before beginning a personal vendetta against the person who caused the wound. Do not rub salt in the wound, unless the wound is in a prisoner.

To remove chewing gum from someone's hair, rub a small amount of mayonnaise or peanut butter in the hair where the gum is. After working it in for awhile, the gum will come out easily.

This solution also works for more serious issues, such as if a giant octopus wraps its tentacles around your face. If this occurs, apply a large amount of mayonnaise or peanut butter to the octopus and work it into the octopus until the beast slides off.

If there isn't any mayonnaise or peanut butter on the ship, stick the octopus with a dagger six- or seven-hundred times, being careful not to get the knife too close to your face.

Also remember to remove your hook during electrical storms.

In addition to celebrating Walk Like a Pirate Day, Cap'n Billy suggests celebrating these pirate days:

• Caulk Like a Pirate Day: It's never too soon to fill the cracks in yer ship's hull!
• Balk Like a Pirate Day: Celebrated by the Pittsburgh baseball team's pitchers or if you're offered a two-week old squid sandwich.
• Stalk Like a Pirate Day: What you do just before you steal the booty!
• Gawk Like a Pirate Day: "Shiver me timbers, will you look at that thar beauty!"
• Squawk Like a Pirate Day: Something you can celebrate with yer parrot.
• Hawk Like a Pirate Day: A great excuse to sell yer old eye patches on eBay.

"Why stop at September 20?" asks Cap'n Billy. "Celebrate Walk Like a Pirate Day year round! I always do."

And don't forget Talk like a Pirate Day on the 19th.