What it means to be Irish

• You will never play professional basketball.



• You swear very well.



• At least one of your cousins holds political office.



• You think you sing very well.



• You have no idea how to make a long story short



• You are very good at playing a lot of very bad golf.



• There isn't a huge difference between losing your temper and killing someone.



• Much of your food was boiled.



• You have never hit your head on the ceiling.



• You spent a good portion of your childhood kneeling.



• You're strangely poetic after a few beers.



• You're, therefore, poetic a lot.



• You will be punched for no good reason...a lot.



• Some punches directed at you are legacies from past generations.



• Your sister will punch you because your brother punched her.



• Many of your sisters are Catherine, Elizabeth or Mary ... and one is Mary Catherine Elizabeth.



• Someone in your family is incredibly cheap. It is more than likely you.



• You don't know the words, but that doesn't stop you from singing.



• You can't wait for the other guy to stop talking so you can start talking.



• "Irish Stew" is the euphemism for "boiled leftovers from the fridge".



• You're not nearly as funny as you think you are, but what you lack in talent, you make up for in frequency.



• There wasn't a huge difference between your last wake and your last keg party.



• You are, or know someone, named "Murph".



• If you don't know Murph, then you know Mac, if you don't know Murph or Mac, then you know Sully, and you'll probably also know Sully McMurphy.



• You are genetically incapable of keeping a secret.



• Your parents were on a first name basis with everyone at the local emergency room.



• And last but not least...,being Irish means... that your attention span is so short that ---oh, forget it.

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