If you wanted a bunny,
why didn't you just buy
one?
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Look, I'm not a poodle and even if I was...
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What is wrong with you. Seriously. Did you not get enough love as a child?
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Remember this moment when I pee on your Persian rug tonight.
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What am I wearing? Am I a picnic table? A waitress?
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Could someone out there please have my owner put to sleep?
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Very punny. You come up with this yourself?
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But I'm funny how? I mean, funny, like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to amuse you? Whaddya mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?
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You're going to embalm me when I'm dead,
aren't you?
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If I had hands, I'd strangle you.
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Though I have provided all the evidence in the world,
perhaps I should take this time to state a certain fact explicitly:
I am a dog. I am NOT a CHILD.
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If the choice is between prison and playing dress up with you, I choose prison.
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My FUR keeps me warm.
Your sweaters only serve to insult me.
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