Advice from Dear Webby
Left out by Friends

Dear Webby,

I quilt with a group of ladies twice a month. We have been doing this for several years and I consider them close friends. My problem is that they often talk, in front of me, of car trips they take to look at antiques, fruit farms, and other places of interest. I'd like to go but most of all I wonder why I'm not asked.

Signed: Ignored Quilter

Dear Quilter,

I have to answer your question with a whole batch of my own questions that only you can answer.

Did you ever hang out with them before? Were they friends before they met you and have been doing this for years? Can you drive? Is there room in the car for another person? Are you the only quilter not included?

Have you ever expressed a desire to go along with them? Have you shown an interest in antiques? Do you have to be home at a certain time? Do you have special needs that a long car ride might make them think would be too much for you? (Although I think they should ask you and not assume).

Now to the unpleasantness. Are you a pain to be with? Do you complain about opening the window, too much wind blowing your hair, too hot or too cold?

Have you been ready on time for other events or do they have to wait on you? Are you dependable? Do you have to sit in the front, control the radio, or heaven help us bring your own tapes? Do you chip in on the expenses?

Gentle Quilter, you undoubtedly do not display any of the above annoying traits. If that is true, be bold and just tell them if ever they have room you would enjoy going along. If they include you, great -your problem is solved.

If not, have you thought about forming your own group of people with similar interests? There are many people out there in your situation who I am sure would enjoy trips of this nature? That is as long as you smell pleasant.