Advice from Dear Webby
Not Invited to Thanksgiving

Don't want to be alone

Dear Don't want to be alone,

Is Webby missing something? She's your daughter, just ask her!

Tell her about the invitation but be sure she knows your first choice is, or course, to be with her. Explain that you know how busy she is this year and can understand if she chooses not to entertain on Thanksgiving. You want her to know that you understand and will not be alone.

Not knowing your health or circumstances this may not be possible but have you considered having them this year? One of mom's home cooked meals could be the best gift you could give her.

It doesn't have to be fussy. Many things can now be bought frozen and prepared. Thanksgiving is all about family and friends getting together, not about how many courses were served. Perhaps you can afford to take them out to dinner.

Only you know you circumstances but Webby has noticed due to finances, health or shear laziness many seniors never let it enter their minds to do the entertaining. An offer to host them may be greatly appreciated.

Once some people reach a certain age they seem to sit back suggesting "we've done our part now take care of us." Some of us feel we can't entertain in the fashion we used to do and therefore do nothing. This isn't fair to anyone especially ourselves. Don't cheat yourself out of being a part of the action.

I know that isn't exactly what you asked but Webby gets many e-mails from seniors who are put out because no one invited them to something. How about doing the inviting?

Few of us are in such terrible shape that we can't at least have our friends and family over for store-bought cookies and tea occasionally.

You are one of the lucky ones who have one and perhaps two invitations. Webby only hopes that from time to time, especially at this time of need for your family, you will reciprocate.

And remember, it's the people not the turkey!

Good luck,