Dear Webby
Which Wedding to Attend?

Torn between family and friend

Dear Torn,

Believe it or not Webby once had a similar dilemma. Her two close friends had daughters being wed on the same time and of course they were on different sides of town.

She went to the church of one and reception for the other. Even though she explained the situation to both she doesn't think either of them were pleased.

Another time she tried to make both receptions in the same evening. Bad idea. One was mad that she left early and the other because she missed the dinner.

No matter what you do someone won't be happy about it. Maybe your cousin won't care as much since you're not close; but your mother will be upset.

Does she have someone to accompany her? If she is counting on you to escort her, your decision is made. I'm sure she would like the relatives to see you there. Mothers are like that.

Webby can't make this decision for you but here are some suggestions.

If there is a shower for your cousin, go and meet your relatives. Be very helpful and visible. Renew your relationships.

Explain your other commitment and sadness at not being able to make the wedding. Should you decide not to go to the family wedding do not just check the "can not attend" on the rsvp card.

Include a note asking them to meet with you for dinner (or whatever) so you can better get to know them sometime after the wedding. I'm sure you will also explain the reason to your good friend should you decide not to go to her wedding.

Go where you will have the most fun and alienate the least amount of people. It sounds like that means your friends wedding.

But don't tell your mother that Webby suggested it. Webby says family first.

Thought you'd get Webby into this? Wrong! Webby is neutral! For once.

Good luck,