How hot is it?

This sure has been a hot an muggy summer.

How do we know?

• The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
• The trees are whistling for the dogs.
• The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
• Hot water now comes out of both taps.
• You can make sun tea instantly.
• You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
• The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.
• You discover you can get sunburned through your car window.
• You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
• You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:00 a.m.
• Your biggest bicycle-wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and I fry to death?"
• You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
• The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
• Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.
• The cows are giving evaporated milk.