Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

Don't let anyone tell you you're getting old. Squash their toes with your rocker!

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Some people try to turn back their body's odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

Maturity means being emotionally and mentally healthy. It is that time when you know when to say yes and when to say no, and when to say "WHOOPEE!"

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

The golden years are really metallic years, gold in the tooth, silver in your hair and most of all lead in the pants.

One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young. One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.

Age seldom arrives smoothly or quickly. It is more often a succession of jerks.

Yeah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

Old age is when former classmates are so gray, wrinkled, and bald that they don't recognize you.