Here are some holiday favorites disguised in new lyrics.

The first was inspired by the Plain Dealer story of Friday, November 23. Ohio is dusting off its 66 year old use tax law to make online shoppers pay their "fair share" in state taxes. If you haven't paid state sales taxes yet for your online purchases...don't worry, you will. Unless.....

Up on the web site? Better pause!
Out jumps Ohio's use tax laws;
Load down your shopping cart with toys
And you might hear from the revenue boys!

Ho Ho Ho, who's gonna know
What I bought in Idaho? So
Up on the web site, click, click, click--
I am a tax-free old Saint Nick!

First comes the billing from Amazon,
and five or six other stores Dot Com;
Seven percent on each thing I buy--
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

Ho Ho Ho, who's gonna know
How I'm gonna spend my dough? So
Up on the web site, click, click, click--
I'm blowing my budget awfully quick!

Next comes the stuff bought upon E-Bay,
IRS says I must pay;
Where when you need them are all those hacks
To send a virus to eat that tax?

Ho Ho Ho, who's gonna know
What I bought and what I owe? OH!
Here come the handcuffs, click, click click--
They've reconfigured Old Saint Nick!

The long awaited college student arrives for the holidays... but not for long!

I'll be home for Christmas,
You can count on me.
Please send dough so I can go
Get your present easily....

I'll be home for Christmas,
I need some meals home-made.
I'll trash my room, and spread some gloom
When you see my mid-term grade...

Christmas Eve you'll find me
Anyplace my cell phone beams;
Yes, I'll be home for Christmas--
But STAY there...IN YOUR DREAMS!

And that ever popular carol to the calories:

I'm dreaming of a wide Christmas,
Just like the ones I used to know:
Where the turkeys glisten and I will listen
To Reddi-Whip squirting on cocoa...

I'm dreaming of a wide Christmas
With every canapé I bite;
Every day my pants get more tight,
I'm a creampuff for Christmas, all right!

The spouse laments his shop-till-you-drop other half in this one:

Have a holly, mall-y Christmas,
Shift the shopping to high gear,
'cause I know you are a pro
with credit cards, my dear.

Sparkly fol-der-ol-y Christmas,
in and out of ev'ry store,
with all you get we'll be in debt
until two thousand four...

Oh, woe! she starts to glow
sometime in mid-July
a treat-seeking missile
when there's something else to buy.

I would like a small-y Christmas,
but it isn't meant to be,
'cause my dolly
fits the whole darn mall-y
under the tree!

Happy Holidays from "Polly Sigh"