A is for arthritis,

B is for bad back,

C is for the chest pains. Cardiac?

D is for dental decay and decline,

E is for eyesight--can't read that top line.

F is for fissures and fluid retention

G is for gas (which I'd rather not mention

and not to forget other gastrointestinal glitches)

H is high blood pressure

I is for itches, and lots of incisions

J is for joints, that now fail to flex

L is for libido--what happened to sex?

Wait! I forgot about K!

K is for my knees that crack all the time

(But forgive me, I get a few lapses
in my M-memory from time to time)

N is for nerve (pinched) and neck (stiff) and neurosis

O is for osteo-for all the bones that crack

P is for prescriptions, that cost a small fortune

Q is for queasiness. Fatal or just the flu?

Give me another pill and I'll be good as new!

R is for reflux--one meal turns into two

S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears
on how to pay my increasing medical bills!

T is for tinnitus--I hear bells in my ears

and the word "terminal" also rings too near

U is for urinary and the difficulties that flow (or not)

V is for vertigo, as life spins by

W is worry, for pains yet found

X is for X ray--and what one might find

Y is for year (another one I'm still alive)

so Z is for zest

For surviving the symptoms
my body's deployed,
And keeping twenty-six doctors
gainfully employed