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Marvelously Mature
YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING
'MARVELOUSLY MATURE'
WHEN…
- You and your teeth don't sleep together.
- Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and
discover you aren't wearing any.
- At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and
you're not eating cereal.
- Your back goes out but you stay home.
- When you wake up looking like your driver's license
picture.
- It takes two tries to get up from the couch.
- When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
- When happy hour is a nap.
- When you're on vacation and your energy runs out before
your money does..
- When you say something to your kids that your mother said
to you and you always hated it.
- When all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded
of your age.
- When you step off a curb and look down one more time to
make sure the street is still there.
- Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
- It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.
- Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer.
- Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.
- You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
- The pharmacist has become your new best friend.
- Getting "lucky" means you found your car in the parking
lot.
- The twinkle in your eye is merely a reflection from the
sun on your bifocals.
- It takes twice as long - to look half as good.
- Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt - doesn't work.
- You look for your glasses for half an hour and they were
on your head the whole time.
- You sink your teeth into a steak - and they stay there.
- You give up all your bad habits and still don't feel
good.
- You have more patience, but it is actually that you just
don't care anymore.
- You finally get your head together and your body starts
falling apart.
- You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't
even remember being on top of it.
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