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Now that I'm Older and Wiser
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- There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for
it. For example, I'm sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.
- When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's
dog
that barks all the time run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
- If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
- A penny saved is a government oversight.
- The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by
then your body and your fat are really good friends.
- The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
- He who hesitates is probably right.
- If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to
blame.
- The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when
he's really in trouble.
- Living on earth is expensive, but it does include a free
trip around the sun.
- Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live.
- How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom
door you're on.
- Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them.
- If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
- Most of us go to our grave with our music still inside of us.
- If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day, how come nothing is free yet?
- You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
- Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
- Don't cry because it's over: smile because it happened.
- A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a
detour.
- Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you
left open.
- Once over the hill, you pick up speed.
- I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the
food.
- If not for STRESS I'd have no energy at all.
- Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
- Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have
film.
- I know God won't give me more than I can handle. I just
wish He didn't trust me so much.
- You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old
because you stop laughing.
- Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
- We cannot change the direction of the wind... but we can
adjust our sails.
- If the shoe fits......buy it in every color (YES!)
- Have an awesome day, and know that someone has thought
about you today
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